I drop hints to my husband, and he never picks up on them!

Bette: Our question is from Carol. Carol says: “I drop so many hints to my husband as to what he should get me for Valentine’s Day or for my Birthday, and he never picks up on them. I think he loves me, but sometimes I wonder. What am I doing wrong?”

Bette: Well, Carol. I can completely understand why you would think; “What is he dense? I dropped so many hints.” That’s because we as women would pick up on these hints. We notice people’s preferences. It’s actually an instinctive difference between men and women. I know. It’s puzzling. What is he dense? If you ask most men, they would say; “YES! I’m dense. I need you to tell me what would make you happy. PLEASE don’t make me guess!” But I’m going to let Michael say a little bit more about that…

Michael: Yeah. We just don’t pick up on hints. Part of it has to do with our focus on what we’re doing at any particular time. We’re focused on the one thing and not on those little hints that you’re dropping. But, as Bette said, it also has to do with our design. I can remember my mother seemed to know everything about everyone, and everywhere something was dropped or left. It was like she could read my mind and I had no clue as to what other people wanted for presents. The thing about it is, you want your husband to succeed with you. That’s what you want, right? You want your husband to make you happy. You have to do more than just drop a hint. You have to come right out and say; “Honey, you know what would really make me happy on Valentine’s Day?” Or, “Do you know what I would really love on my birthday?” Then just come out and tell him! I know that some women would say; “Gee, if I have to tell him, maybe I don’t want it.” You’re just hurting yourself. You’re not letting him win with you if you do that. He wants to make you happy. He loves you. Let him know what it is you want that will make you happy.

Bette: Thank you so much for your question, Carol. I hope that helps. If you have questions or comments, please go to our Contact page and “Suggest a 'Love Notes' Topic or Question.”