How do I get my husband to help around the house?

Bette: Today’s question is from Christine. Christine says… how do I get my husband to help around the house more? Why do I have to do everything? Please help!

That is a great question… and I think that Michael is the one that could really help us out with this one. So, I’m going to hand it over to you Michael.

Michael: Thank you Bette. Okay… Can you picture a bachelor apartment and how little bachelors do around the house? Now, when you bring a bachelor into a marriage and he becomes a husband, he doesn’t automatically change his behavior, and I’ll tell you why. Because cleaning up the dishes and taking out the trash and sweeping up the mess that I made and picking up clothes, those are all just things to do. And we don’t really get a whole lot of energy from just things to do. So, here’s the key… If he knows how important it is to you and what a difference it would make for you, then he’s got an interest. It’s more than a task. It’s a way of serving his wife. It’s a way of making you happy. It’s a way of fulfilling on his promise to love and cherish you. The key here is to not to start off with criticism; “You never help,” but rather; “It would really help me, and here’s why.” So, no matter what the task is, you approach it that way, I think you’re going to get your husband to help.

Bette: Absolutely. I know that when Michael knows the difference something will make, he’s so much more willing and even eager to provide that. Men really are providers, right? But you need to know how to talk to him in a way that works for him. That’s going to inspire him to want to provide that thing for you. That’s something that we explore in our program very deeply because I know that it’s so important. Christine, I hope that helped.

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